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:: Saturday, June 29, 2002 ::
Does anyone know what an 'Automatic High' is?
These are important issues and anyone who says otherwise can go and fuck themselves to hell.
I could not help but notice that selected Safeway stores in the East Midlands are offering their own 'Party Selection' this week for half it's normal price: £1.49 instead of £2.99. Containing mini sausage rolls, cocktail sausages and 'Party Mini Eggs' - that's mini Scotch Eggs with Egg Mayo in the middle, to the uninitiated - it sounds too good to be true. BUT a note of caution my sundry obsessed friends; when I consumed one of these packs just after Christmas, I got the worst food poisoning ever. Stomach cramps so bad I was doubled up, untold horrors coming out of both ends, and rather bizarrely, the Who's 'Magic Bus' playing in my head. Having said that, the Turkey carcass my cats licked or the out of date packet of ham could have just as easily been to blame. But are YOU prepared to take the risk? For £1.49, you'd be a fucking idiot not to.:: Sunday, June 23, 2002 ::
Wouldn't it be strange if moths tasted like Special K. There'd be uproar. When people ate a bowl of the popular cereal, they'd say 'this isn't so special - it tastes like a dead moth'. It's unlikely, but you cannot be sure it couldn't happen.
My cat mauled a moth today, a great big fucker like the one in the Bjork 'Human Behaviour' video. I trod on the poor sod (the moth, not my cat) to put it out of its misery, and its insides were a bright peppermint green colour. I did not check to see if it tasted of peppermint, but if anyone knows if would have done, or if moths taste of anything in particular, do let us know.:: Friday, June 21, 2002 ::
I can safely say that I enjoyed the dump I took at half time more than England's sorry performance against Brazil.
Arseblogger, it is my solemn promise to you that I will not rape you, or indeed violate you in any way without your express permission.:: Wednesday, June 19, 2002 ::
If you sort of like football but sort of don't, why not view the site of our most recent visitor arseblog, it's sort of about football and sort of isn't. Although lacking direction, it is a lot more focussed than this sorry pile of shite. You see, if you're nice you get a link.:: Monday, June 17, 2002 ::
You drive me crazy/up the wall/look like little Alan Ball
Ted, warm feelings towards Oreos (whatever they are) do not qualify as biscuit adultery in my book, but make sure that it doesn't get out of hand.:: Saturday, June 15, 2002 ::
Still getting more hits from our American chums than anyone else. Come on boys and girls, make your presence known and post a comment, you miserable sods. Where's your sense of adventure?:: Friday, June 14, 2002 ::
Jammy Dodgers are the best biscuits ever. Anyone who disagrees is a twat.
You can say what you like about Sophie Ellis-Bextor; some have said she looks like a freak pixie, others a fucking space alien. On the evidence presented in her latest video, however, she'd certainly get it from me. Ay-yi-yi-yi indeed.:: Thursday, June 13, 2002 ::
So Holly Valance is Benny Hill's cousin. I must admit that I hadn't predicted that one. As a tribute to the late un-funny man, Holly is including the theme to the Benny Hill show, called 'Yakety Sax' as a B side on her next single.:: Wednesday, June 05, 2002 ::
But was it as good as the Princess Di memorial concert, one must ask. There may have been a million people hanging around outside the palace like a huge flock of feckless, inbred sheep, but if T'Pau and Chris de Burgh were on the bill there could have been twice as many.
Going back to the Jubilee concert for a moment, it was momentous not just for celebrating fifty fantastic years of Brenda's reign at the tax payer's expense, but was also the last appearance of S Club 7 as a seven piece. Paul Catermole is leaving, apparently to explore a more rock like direction (rock music, he isn't going to become a geologist). S Club, as they will now be known, will continue as a six piece, so don't be too downhearted, but if you missed this little nugget of history PRAY your neighbour videoed it.
It's comin' atcha baby, it's been too long:: Tuesday, June 04, 2002 ::
Fair play to William and Harry who rose from their comas only once during the Jubilee concert, when Ozzy Osbourne was on. Fair play to Ozzy, who simply came on too early but was not sufficiently confused to bite the head off a corgi, or her majesty herself, which must have been a relief for the organizers.
Fifty glorious years.
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