:: m u m s l u t ::

Get your filthy hands off me you sick pervert
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:: Monday, December 16, 2002 ::

Have you been looking for a life size golden labrador, in an unrealistic pose, with a dopey look on its face, yet with sinister staring black eyes, made of plastic? In a box? Well your search has ended, because you can get one here.

Dalmatian wearing a fireman's helmet, anyone?
:: super 9:25:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: Monday, December 09, 2002 ::
If there's any justice in the world Electric 6 will be number one for all of 2003. Be sure to buy their spanking surefire hit 'Danger - High Voltage' on its release on January 6th - it's a winner. Trust me.
:: super 9:36:00 PM [+] ::
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A new entry on the singles chart at a feeble number 4 for Mr Robert Williams, behind new entries from Enema and the Cheeky Girls. Eighty million fucking quid doesn't look so cheap now does it? I bet it didn't cost a fraction of that to smuggle the Cheeky Girls into the country illegally. Infact, if memory serves me correctly it cost me about £75.
:: super 9:34:00 PM [+] ::
...
Panic ye not, brothers and sisters normal service is resumed. I've just seen Anastacia on telly and I wanted to put my foot through the screen.

Incidentally, is she named after Dan Dare's spaceship?
:: super 9:20:00 PM [+] ::
...
I'm going bonkers. The other day my car broke down in a multi storey carpark in - wait for it - Nottingham, and had to be carried back to Leicester at 1am on the back of a recovery lorry. Bizarrely enough, I quite enjoyed all this. Today, I went to the dentist and had a filling, and quite enjoyed that too. Is my life so devoid of joy that I have started to derive pleasure from things that are normally considered, well, a bit shit? It would seem so.
:: super 9:16:00 PM [+] ::
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I have seen Minority Report. It's a load of wank.
:: super 9:12:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: Sunday, December 08, 2002 ::
I know that I do not generally find myself dreaming about ex-Blue Peter presenters, not even Janet Ellis, but I do know that Boneyboy recently dreamt about him, me and Gaz from Supergrass murdering someone in a flat. I do not recall this happening in real life, so could this be a premonition? It may well not be.
:: super 10:32:00 AM [+] ::
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People that know me personally, or associates with me in the very loosest sense of the term if they would rather not be perceived as 'knowing' me, may recall the name Michael Sundin being mentioned in conversation a few weeks ago. Michael was a Blue Peter presenter in the mid 1980's, noteworthy merely for being extremely effeminate and being sacked from the show after being pictured in the News of The World in his underpants with a male stripper, and dying of an AIDS related illness a couple of years later. Poor Michael appears to have been consigned to the dustbin of entertainment history, as no-one seems to have heard of him, and it has even been suggested that I dreamt the whole thing. For no particular reason, thiis will hopefully serve as proof that I didn't, and in some small way help to keep Michael's memory alive. It is the least that the 1976 Synchro Trampolining World Champion (15-18 age group) deserves.
:: super 10:24:00 AM [+] ::
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It's also a time for a Safeway Party Selection, if your guts are up to it, which mine most certainly are. And something about Jesus.
:: super 10:09:00 AM [+] ::
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Ahhh, Christmas....a time for celebration, peaceful contemplation, drunken arguments with your loved ones and a barely resistable urge to spend some quiet time locked in the garage with the ignition left on. But more important than that is that it's time for a Christmas version of Las Ketchup's 'Ketchup Song', virtually identical to the version we know and love, but with some sleigh bells added and some digital snow slapped on top of the video. What did you do to deserve this? I don't know.
:: super 10:07:00 AM [+] ::
...
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